The Story of Lansing Lotte Read online

  Time passed and I slid behind Guinie, spooning her against me. She didn’t seem to flinch away from me. As a matter of fact, she pressed into me. I slipped my arm over her slim waist to lay my hand protectively on her stomach. Her delicate hand covered mine, and I held my breath for a moment, unsure if she was awake or acting in her sleep. I heard her breathing softly, and let out my breath, relaxing into her leaning against my chest. I was surprised I was able to sleep a dreamless sleep, but I awoke with a raging hard-on pressed into Guinie’s rear. She moaned from the back of her throat. I felt the need to warn her in advance.

  “I’m not Arturo,” I whispered into her hair.

  I felt her go still in my arms; I slowly removed my hand from over her waist causing her to rotate slightly to look at me over her shoulder.

  “Don’t you think I know that?” she whispered.

  I paused as her lake blue eyes stared into mine.

  “After yesterday…” I let the words fade away.

  “I…I was confused,” she said. “It won’t happen again.” She immediately sat up then stood quickly to be away from me.

  I wasn’t sure what time it was. The television was still on low, but bright light streamed through the sheer curtained windows. I sat up and rubbed my face, as Guinie began to cross the floor for the hall, in an effort to exit my presence, when a knock came on the door. Her eyes flashed to me and I stood. I don’t know why I was holding my breath. I saw Guinie’s face drop when Layne Ascolat walked into the room.

  It only took Layne Ascolat a moment to take in the room and her face showed her emotions. Her eyes met mine for a brief second and betrayed everything. Confusion. Hurt. Her voice, however, did nothing to give away her feelings.

  “Guinie, honey, I heard what happened,” Layne spoke, as she rounded the back of the couch and headed for Guinie with open arms. Guinie let herself be enveloped by Layne. She glared at me over Layne’s thin shoulders.

  Her eyes questioned me.

  Releasing Guinie, Layne stepped back and addressed me coldly.

  “Lansing, so good to see you again,” her voice quivered.

  It was a tennis match of stares as Guinie looked between Layne and me, then back at Layne.

  “How did you hear about the…?” Guinie let her words trail away and she sucked in a deep breath.

  “Kaye called me. He thought you might need a friend, or a distraction.”

  Layne looked at me again quickly, and then away.

  “Am I interrupting something?” she said softer.

  “No,” Guinie laughed. My denial didn’t make it all the way out of my throat so I choked.

  Guinie wrapped an arm around Layne and walked her to the couch where they both sat.

  “It was nice of you to stop by. Maybe Kaye was right. I am feeling a bit claustrophobic.”

  Layne smiled.

  “But I don’t think I could walk far,” Guinie said. “How about coffee down the block? We didn’t get a chance to catch up the other day.” Guinie’s eyes shifted to me and back to Layne, who tried to remain focused on Guinie’s face.

  “I think I’ll be going,” I interjected and both girls looked at me. Guinie’s face gave away nothing, but Layne’s looked hopeful.

  “Would you like to join us?” Layne asked meekly. I worried that Layne might have wanted me along for a reason I couldn’t be sure of at the moment.

  “I think I’ll let you have some girl time,” I tried to smile. I was thinking of approaching Guinie with a kiss on the cheek, but the tension was so thick and I would have to reciprocate to Layne, which would be awkward to explain to Guinie.

  I hadn’t made it to the elevator before there was a text from Guinie.

  Layne?

  I didn’t feel the need to respond. I was suddenly bitter about Guinie’s rejection, saying she knew I wasn’t Arturo. I didn’t think I could compare to Arturo. I didn’t want to compare to Arturo. I just wanted a chance to prove myself.

  All those years ago, my plan was to call Guinevere. I actually wanted to call her as soon as she left the party with Layne Ascolat that night. But I didn’t want to appear as eager as I was then, so I waited. I planned to return home for one night, leaving on Saturday morning for upstate to see my mom, Vivian. When I arrived at our smaller house on the very edge of the lake, I was surprised to find Mure Linn outside our family home. I had been an only child and just surpassed my eighteenth birthday. I was planning on going to the same college as Arturo, Tristan, and Perk on another scholarship, similar to the one I had received to go to the Performing Arts Academy. Raised by a single parent, I never questioned what we did or didn’t have, but it had been Mure Linn who suddenly appeared with the invitation to the prestigious high school.

  While I was excited about the change in schools, it was completely unexpected. The guys wanted me to be closer to them in the city, and honestly, I was ready to go. I had never minded the seclusion of the wooded home on Lake Avalon, but it never felt like it was my home. I always felt like it wasn’t where I was meant to be. Thankfully, I met Arturo at a young age and our friendship was instantaneous. He was like the brother I never had, but I missed a father figure. While Mure came and went, occasionally, from our home, he wasn’t someone I connected with other than a polite conversation and eventually coaching me in our growing band. If it wasn’t for his age, I would have thought that Mure was a bit in love with my mom. Vivian.

  She had brilliant wavy hair that hung long and kinky in an old fashioned sort of way. Hippie style. She was earthy in her clothing, wearing longer skirts and fitted tank tops. She was eccentric, and that might have been where the disconnect existed between us. She doted on me. She didn’t disallow anything, except trips to the city, when I was young. I questioned for years where the change of heart came from in Vivian, but I didn’t inquire often enough. I was too excited to finally be set free for New York City.

  After leaving Arturo’s, I wandered the streets slowly, not sure what to do with myself. We didn’t have practice. We didn’t have a concert to plan. We didn’t have an album to cut. I was lost. I wasn’t sure what direction to take without the band.

  I called Tristan first to get a groggy sounding, “fuck off,” through the phone and decided on finding Perk next. I hadn’t met the woman that started all it. I didn’t want to blame her, but I had no other excuse for the loss of our leader.

  “Hey, you busy?”

  “Nope. What’s up?”

  “I don’t know what to do with myself.”

  “Where are you?”

  I looked around, confused where I had walked for a moment.

  “At 52nd and Park.”

  “I’ll come get you.”

  About ten minutes later, Perk pulled up in his large SUV. I was shocked it didn’t take him that long to reach me and I realized we weren’t alone in the truck. A girl was in the back seat. The girl.

  I did a double take before I made a smart ass comment to Perk.

  “Whatcha doing? Taking a side job as a chauffeur?” I snorted.

  Perk turned his dark eyes on me in a scary manner that I knew he hardly possessed. He was a big man, but a gentle giant at heart.

  “This is Hollister SanGrael,” he said, quickly glancing into the rearview mirror to what I assume was make eye contact with our passenger.

  I turned in my seat to get a better glance at her and took in the dark hair, the gray eyes and the hard look on her face. Immediately, I knew her.

  “You’re Holi.” I blinked twice and narrowed my eyes at her. Her mouth fell open then she quickly closed her gapping lips.

  “I know you,” I said.

  “What?” Perk said, glancing sideways at me, and swerving the large SUV to miss another car.

  “I know her.” I turned to him then gazed back at the girl sitting behind me, who was staring out the window.

  “Aren’t you related to Elaine Corbin?” I asked over the seat.

  The gray eyes pierced me for a moment as she scanned my face, and then her
recognition became evident. She didn’t respond to me, though. She shifted her eyes to stare out the side window.

  Elaine Corbin’s family had a secret. Something about a heritage and protection needed for an object or a person. It was all rather sketchy and not something I bothered to concern myself with as a teenager. The family had fallen on hard times for a while. Whatever the gossip included, by the time I met the Corbin’s and Holi SanGrael, they were on their way to recovery. Elaine’s father had a severe war injury that didn’t allow him to walk. It was rumored that the injury didn’t come from a war as much as it came from Elaine’s mother catching old Pellinore, as he was nicknamed, up to something a married man shouldn’t have been doing - another woman. Elaine’s mother left after that injury occurred. Somehow the family fortune dissipated, leaving their home to ruin, and their livelihood to shift from a wealthy merchant to meager fishing, supplying the local restaurants of the Lake Avalon area with fresh catch.

  At some point the fishing business began to bloom, and the historical home was slowly restored to its original glory, making it shine like a medieval castle. Elaine’s younger brother, Elliott, was rumored to be instrumental in assisting the return of the family’s social status, but it was Elaine who had all her father’s faith in fulfilling some family prophecy for prosperity. He always claimed she was destined for great things. Elaine didn’t seem too fazed by her father’s proclamations, as many people believed him to have lost a bit of his mind, as well as his body functions.

  It was during a rare visit to the restored home that I saw Holi for the first time. She was a member of the family, although the connection was a bit unclear to me, and again, I wasn’t too interested in their family tree as a teenager. I came to their home with my mother. With Vivian. Her holistic medicine needs were encouraged by Pellinore. If I didn’t know better, again I would have thought an older gentlemen had the hots for my mother, but I tried not to think about those things as a kid.

  It was during the visit that I met Elaine Corbin and her brother. It seemed like a typical visit. Vivian was secluded with Pellinore in his room, working on therapy of some type and we were encouraged to go outside to play. I had to laugh as we were young teenagers and “play” wasn’t exactly what we did then, so we wandered down to the edge of the lake. We were strolling casually around the property when we came across a smaller outbuilding from the original estate that was collapsed. The crumbled brick walls were blanketed by a collapsed metal roof, but an iron door remained unfazed by age, giving the appearance of closing off an entrance to the ground. I tried to open the door, convinced it would lead to a secret passageway and curious as to what was underneath the pile. It was also possible; I wanted to show off my young strength to impress Elaine. She was a pretty girl and my hormones were overactive. I liked the way she looked at me. I tried to no avail to unlatch the metal door. Eventually, Elaine and Elliott wanted to return to the main house.

  As we crossed the front lawn, I saw Holi. She had a mysterious calm about her with her sleek dark hair and her slightly tan skin. She appeared elusive and quiet, but not shy. No, she definitely did not appear demure or reserved. She looked determined and focused as she turned in our approaching direction, and narrowed those gray eyes on me. She walked like she had a purpose and she was…tough. She held her glare on me as she stalked toward us until she reached our small group and decided I wasn’t worthy of her time.

  “You are not the one.”

  It was so abrupt. I didn’t know what she meant, but before I could respond, Elaine interjected and replied, “Oh, I think he is definitely the one.” The innuendo was not lost on me.

  At that time, I hadn’t had too many encounters with girls, other than my infatuation with the young Nina, whom Arturo and I fought over. Neither of us got that girl, and I was still hesitant after that experience to express myself to another female. I had still been working on improving my smaller frame, but I had been growing like a weed, as Vivian would say and I was filling out in ways that showed I was changing into a man. I wasn’t attracted to Holi SanGrael, but I was intrigued by her. Her presence was fierce while Elaine’s was flirty. I wasn’t greatly attracted to Elaine Corbin either, but something clicked in her on that day that led to a long term obsession with me.

  I cringed for a moment when I thought of drunk-fucking Elaine, also at my promise to call her, which I didn’t keep. Now, I had Layne setting a small buzz in my head, and Guinie punching a huge hole in my heart. I didn’t have room for Hollister SanGrael or any of her attitude which rolled off her in the back seat. If she didn’t want to act like she remembered me, I wasn’t going to be the one to tell Perk. He had other plans, though.

  “How do you two know each other?” he demanded, his eyes still shifting between me and the rearview mirror to get Holi’s attention.

  “Holi and I met once. A long time ago,” I said like it was no big deal, but that seemed to upset Perk even more.

  “Met how?”

  I didn’t know why I was referring to her in the third person, like she wasn’t in the car, and I didn’t know why she wasn’t supporting my efforts to explain myself to Perk.

  “At Elaine’s. Aren’t you cousins or something?”

  “What?” Perk almost screeched. His focus was fully on the rearview mirror. She must have refused to look because he did a quick glance over his shoulder to the back seat.

  “Hollister?” he said, his tone softening.

  “I don’t really remember you,” she spoke and I turned again to see her over the back seat. She was still staring out the window and we suddenly stopped in front of a decrepit building.

  Perk turned fully in the driver’s seat to face the back. His expression showed he was waiting for further clarification.

  “Are you cousins with Elaine Corbin?” Perk spoke again.

  “Something like that.”

  Perk ran a hand over his short hair and sighed deeply.

  “Truth, Hollister.”

  “I can’t explain this all now. I have to go.” There was a click of the door handle opening and a momentary tension in the close quarters, before Hollister slid out the door and it slammed shut.

  I watched Perk as he watched her walk away. I turned to see her enter a shabby looking building that read Miriam House Women’s Shelter.

  “You’re dating a homeless woman,” I laughed.

  The back of my head was tapped hard with the flat of Perk’s hand.

  “No.”

  “Is she a prostitute or something then?”

  “You better stop right there before I beat the shit out of you,” Perk’s voice tried to sound teasing, but his tone proved otherwise. He was serious about defending her. My head turned to face him as he pulled into the minimal traffic on the side street, in what I suddenly realized was a shady looking part of town.

  “Dude, how can you leave her here?”

  “She won’t stay with me.”

  “Why not?”

  “How do you know her?” he questioned again without responding to me.

  “I told you. I saw her at Elaine’s.”

  “When?”

  “I don’t know. When I was fourteen, maybe fifteen years old.”

  “Fuck,” Perk muttered under his breath.

  “What?”

  “Why didn’t you ever tell me?”

  “I didn’t know I was supposed to. Didn’t think it was important to mention I saw a random girl once at the Corbin’s, before I ever met you.”

  “Important? Important! It could have saved everything.”

  “What?”

  “I could have had her so much sooner. She was right there, near me all the time, and I didn’t know it.” Perk slammed a hand on the steering wheel, and I didn’t think the wheel could take it.

  “Dude, chill.”

  Perk looked at me quickly and then shook his head.

  “You have her now.” I tried to sound like it was all good.

  “No. No, I don’t have her yet,” he sighed
deeply, as he pulled onto the boulevard to drive toward his home. We both glanced in the direction of the merge lane that led to the fateful viaduct and the place of Arturo’s disappearance. We were silent the rest of the ride to Perk’s warehouse.

  My days continued as they always did. I woke; I woke Fleur. I dressed her, then me. Fed her, skipped me, and the day began. Some days I took Fleur to Clare’s. She was a single woman in the building, several years older than me, and she was working on her dissertation in theatre production. She worked nights and had befriended my father years ago. I hated to assume that my father had had any kind of sexual relationship with her as a younger woman, but I couldn’t put it past him. He had been a terribly attractive man in his time and his cheating was one of many reasons my parents divorced.

  I’d never been bitter about their break-up. I was only two and hadn’t known any better, not to mention that he continued to be a loving father when he could be. It was in my pre-teenage years that I grew resentful, until he surprised us all and offered for Sara and I to come live with him. We had lived in Chicago with our mother, but with Sara, fifteen, and me, thirteen, he knew it would be easy to have us live with him. We were past the difficult years as far as basics – feeding ourselves, bathing ourselves, and most importantly potty trained. My mother complained constantly that he hadn’t been present for those years, but I don’t think my father would have agreed that raising two teenage daughters was easier.

  My mother had relinquished us easily. She’d always complained she had been the one to raise us, stating she got the short end of the stick. She wanted fame, money, and parties. She couldn’t have that with two small girls and an absent husband who initially promised her all those things. Besides, she said, it gave her the opportunity to move to Florida which she always wanted to do. It wasn’t like she was the ideal mother, but I knew she did the best she could for a single woman still young and in her prime. She was disappointed in my own predicament with Fleur. I didn’t like to think of my mother and her lack of responsibility toward us when we were young. I didn’t like to think of her now in her lack of support for Fleur and me.